Tag: bonersahoy

There is no fucking behind the bar.

Sex is everywhere. You can find it in the cracks and seams in every aspect of our lives from when we are young and still wondering what exactly it is to when we are old and we consider that we should have stuck more fingers into said cracks and seams.

Sex is so prevalent that they have a hard time giving it away these days. Sex has to be dressed up or modified until it isn’t sex at all, but a part time job at a hardware store, or a strongly worded letter. There is so much sex in the world that it has become the thing by which we describe how mundane something is. How often have you heard the term, “it’s better than sex,” huh?

There is no fucking behind the bar because it is a refuge. I can pour drinks and I can cast my gaze over the small empire I have carved for myself out of the crater in which this city resides.

There is no fucking behind the bar because there are forces at work which I may have had a hand in creating, or may not exist at all, aside from in my imagination.

Once, drunkenly, I masturbated behind the bar when everyone had left. I drank that night harder than most nights. I drank with the customers and watched a young couple in the corner touch and talk and for some reason I could taste and feel them together and once they had gone I rubbed myself until I splashed my jizz all over the already dirty mats that lay at my feet behind the bar. I remember coming to my senses then. A clear sobriety that echoed through my body and seemed to vibrate out into the very room.

I knew I had done something wrong. Perhaps, one of the gods who watches over this place saw me bend or break a rule that I had been resolute to follow. I’m not sure. All I know is, what followed was a terrible week. It was like I had been cursed. Looking back it must have all been a self-fulfilling prophecy, but at the time it felt like the only way to atone for my sin was to wash my mouth out with the shotgun I keep underneath the bar beside the dusty unused wine glasses.

I made it through, though. I made it through and learned my lesson, that the rules you set for yourself in the realm you created are the worst to break and bear the harshest consequences.

So, now, there is no fucking or sex of any kind behind the bar. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a red-blooded barkeep and my perversions remain intact. I saw that couple again that had caused me to violate myself that night I broke my own rule and I slung them drink after drink. I flirted with them both and told them about the after-hours special where they could drink and touch and play and fuck all for free as long as they let me watch. I watched. I helped. However, we did it all on the other side of the bar. Where it is safe and the rules are different. We didn’t fuck behind the bar and because of that the week proceeded without darkness or fear.

The Lack of Love Letters

Why have Love Letters gone out of vogue? Why are they no longer popular to be written? It is as if the love that used to exist in this world has taken on a new form and a new way of being expressed. Indeed, it used to be that a man or woman was judged on their actions, not simply how they navigated a person’s psychology.

Love is hard and difficult and now it is as if folks are looking for the hack, the work around to get it done quicker or harder.

SearchEngine: I like I girl how do I make her like me back?

Result: Here are 20 articles distilled down into manageable bite sized facts that will inform you how most female brains work and how you can use a twisted evolutionary human biology to your advantage only to realize that these tricks will work too well.

Instead of all that why don’t we take risks anymore? Reach out from across the void of our own existence and put pen to paper for someone we think we love and express that. Perhaps, the words never meant as much as we thought they did and it is all propaganda from the Love Corporations who wanted us to spend money on pens and papers. Now that those mediums are obsolete Big Love is trying to make us buy into the other modes of expression. Don’t write your feelings down like some 20th century sap, no; use our crafted emote pictures to really express yourself.

Do you love this woman? Does the yearning in your soul make you wish that you could simultaneously rip out your beating heart and pounding brains and smash them together to make them stop moving to the rhythm of your longing? Well, fear not, citizen. We have just the tiny animated picture for you!

It also takes time to write a Love Letter and this may be why they have gone extinct. You see, in the time it takes to write a love letter one must spend that time thinking about the words to write down on the page. These words are inspired by the feeling inside you and for an effective Love Letter one must allow these feeling to flow from the interior down into the ink that is hitting the page. Prolonged thought on a subject causes an individual to explore different facets of the idea. In the time it takes to write a Love Letter one may come to find that they never really loved the individual in the first place. Or, quite possibly the opposite. That all those feelings have been reaffirmed and made stronger.

Perhaps, this is more a treatise against time and the distillation of our efforts to fall in love. Everything is quickened now and optimized. So, as a result so to may our thoughts and decision making promise. No longer is it acceptable to spend some time and think about how one feels or how to even put into words. If we have the inkling of a feeling we can express it immediately and directly onto someone else.

I didn’t even get started on sex…