Unloved.

I think the reason I set up shop in an illegal bar on the Moon was to have a purpose. You see, I have come to find that men as a species are expendable and always will be. I have seen wars come and go, various man-made disasters, and the other kind that seem like an act of God. In each of these I have seen the breach filled with human lives. Eaten up and destroyed, sometimes to return; more often than not to disappear.

I have played my part in these. I was lucky in a few cases to be thrown into the breach and come up for sweet air afterwards. Many of those who went with me did not fare as well. Others were scarred by it and they are the haunting reminder of what came to pass. I see them in my bar whether they are real or not I still pour the drink to honour them.

I have come to know a great tragedy and that is when a man is unloved. I have seen boys killed, dying in silence, pure courage in the face of final knowledge that no one will suffer heartbreak at their passing. These men are often mourned as a group, but by and large the individual is forgotten.

It is why I seek purpose in my little bar. I fulfill a need for those who seek inebriated distraction, which is an important aspect of our society. Yet, even here in my domain I see the boys who are unloved and who move through life largely unmalevolent. I see them as the ones who stand just outside the group, the lonely drinker, or the fellas paying for drinks in the small hope that later that evening he may disguise pleasure as love for a few moments at least.

It helps that I serve a purpose. It helps to have my patrons to focus on to distract me from the oppressive truth that I am indeed unloved. I will say this to the passerby who feels as I do that there is some benefit to our condition. It is that we can move through life untethered and without fear that when greatness or opportunity knocks we will need not hesitate to answer the call.

It is why so many idealistic boys go into the breach. It is why we are expendable. Because many of us are unloved and seek greatness as a substitute.